The thing about overusing people’s names, Pete

Overheard in Slack:

you don’t have to @ someone. just typing their name works too (Slack adds your name as a notification trigger by default)

The thing about using people’s real names to alert them, Pete, is that sometimes it can come across as an unnatural attempt to build rapport.

Pete, have you ever read ​How to Win Friends and Influence People​? You’re probably not missing out. It’s a blight on society.

You see, Pete, the author, Dale Carnegie, thought people love nothing more than hearing the sound of their own names. Which – I’m sure you’ve noticed, Pete – spawned generations of douchey salesmen who will incessantly throw your name into a sentence as though they have the right to it. They’ll probably even feign familiarity with your spouse and kids and infer that you should hang out sometime and maybe share holiday cards, Pete, even though they just laid eyes on you forty five seconds ago.

I’m sure you’ve met people like this, Pete. You met them and you shook their hand and you accepted their greasy business card and then you left it on the bar when you refreshed your G&T because this is a networking event, Pete, but you’re not going to be anyone’s patsy.

TL;DR: If you need someone to get notified in Slack, don’t try to work their name into the sentence. Just use their @username, for decency’s sake.

Iris Eleanor Byler

Her name is Iris Eleanor.

She looks like this:

Iris 1

She’s about 56 hours old. We’re smitten.


After teasing us by dallying in warm amniotic fluid for a long week after her due date, she entered the world in a hurry. Her mama woke up at 4:00 AM on June 5th with fever and uncontrollable shaking, and the ER visit revealed some fetal distress, which eventually led to an emergency c-section.

Iris poked her head into the operating theater at 9:50 AM, decided the world was worth further investigation, and emerged.

Iris 2


The Iridian1 conquest of our hearts was over as soon as it started:

She came. We saw. She conquered.


Olivia is recovering very well. The cause of the temporary fever is unknown2, but she and Iris are both very healthy.

Iris 3


Iris comes from a Greek word meaning “rainbow”. Her name embodies a number of associations, including:

  • Vision, knowledge, beauty: The iris of an eye (and camera lens) regulates light intake, which is critical to visually receiving information, [written] knowledge, and beauty.
  • Legacy: The Greek goddess Iris was a messenger who traveled on rainbows.3 As the living sibling of her miscarried sister, Iris is a rainbow baby.
  • Hope: in the Old Testament, the rainbow is a symbol of hope and peace.
  • Inclusion: in modern culture, the rainbow is used as a symbol of tolerance and inclusion.

Eleanor, which means “bright, shining one”, is derived from Greek as well. Iris Eleanor has strong role models to follow, including the inimitable Eleanor Roosevelt, whose influence and advocacy for civil rights, women’s rights, and human rights at large is an inspiration.


Iris was born during her grandfather James’s 70th birthday (June 4th, 2017), although she chose to be simultaneously born in Bangkok on June 5th, to the confusion of flat-earthers everywhere. As a result, she shares a birthday with her Aunt Suzi and brand new second cousin, Isaac.

Her birth was coincidentally marked by the first blooming of some purple German bearded irises in her cousins’ back yard.4

Iris 4


Specifications

Iris 5


We are incredibly grateful and can’t wait for you all to meet her.

Love,

Dan & Olivia

[1] Always nice to have a personal, if obscure, adjective to go with one’s name.

[2] It’s possible the whole ER scare was an Iridian ruse to make sure Aunt Isabel could meet Iris before her departure on the 6th. If so, Iris, well played.2.

[3] We’re a few years away from true rainbow travel, although according to mythology, Iris has already zipped around on lightbeams (in suboceanic fiber optic cables) to meet her family members via Facetime.3.

[4] Photo credit: Carolyn Swenson4.